“ I am glad to be reminded that it’s normal to go to another side of the world and feel warmed by something recognisable. ” I love this. I have this feeling so often when I travel, particularly when I travel solo- I think it’s less about the place and more the act of being free and on my own. Either way- you’ve put words to it so well!
Your writing is so poetic Amara! I love it. I would agree with your belief that hope doesn’t truly exist until you realise it is gone. Only then does it become something more palpable, and (perhaps) something you then start to feel and see it everyday. And that is really really beautiful, to be able to go from not having much of relationship with hope, to it disappearing, to it becoming so powerful and central to your life that it is everywhere! Finding the hope & joy in the really simple things to remind yourself that life is (and should be) simple is truly the best. It sparks such a different relationship with yourself it’s wonderful. It’s almost like an awakening?
Before I became unwell I can’t even really recall a genuine relationship with hope at all. And now we are best friends! I can’t imagine a day without her. I remember at a really low point this summer after being hospitalised again I was sat by a lavender hedge in my garden and I was thinking of how tired I was of being in and out of hospital and how much I wanted this new medication to work out, and a butterfly came and landed on my chest right where my heart was. I was so shocked and definitely teared up, and said to myself - this interaction with this butterfly is here to represent hope for me & my health. Because it’s landed on my heart, it wants me to stay hopeful. After it flew away, I had 4 more butterflies fly around me and land on me. Granted I was near a lavender hedge that definitely attracts them, but it felt very moving. And everytime I see a butterfly now, which was several times again in the summer, I knew it was hope coming to pay me a visit again, to remind me to keep going and that things would be okay. 🦋 I miss them in the bleak UK winter but I know they’ll be back.
Wow Martha this response is so touching. Thank you so much for reading and being here and offering your relationship with hope. I was most moved with your story about the encounter with the butterfly which made you feel the presence of hope. I can only imagine the feeling. Just reading your retelling of the event gave me an overwhelming sense of relief and an internal 'yes', that kind of emotion is unmatched and deserves to be spoken about more. I so appreciate your sharing. Honestly it made my night. I'm looking for ways to infuse even more hope into my days while also in the grey UK winter but I feel so connected back to the good, simple things that life keeps showing me and to the community around me.
Also, 4 butterflies landing on you is magical??!! I love that for you and the magnetism you have is probably beyond the lavender at this point. I hope for more meetings and reminders of hope that you can claim.
Thank you for such a resoundingly kind response to my comment! That kind of emotion is unmatched - it’s incredibly special. I also like to believe the magnetism I have is beyond the power of the lavender bush so I appreciate you reaffirming that haha. I hope for more meetings and reminders of hope that you can claim too 🫶
Omg my thoughts are with you I didn’t know you were in the UK right now too! It’s bleak out here. Infusing hope when it’s grey is a lot harder because nature is such an easy way to receive it. When I got out on walks I try and pick 3 ‘wonders’ which always makes me feel more connected to the world around me. I try and make sure they’re always different - so it can be seeing wild mushrooms, deer, I saw a bat (!) last week, the red on holly, the moon out in the day time, the colours of the sky etc. I also have a Christmas Tree in my house right now which definitely helps as it is so beautiful to look at.
'my thoughts are with you I didn’t know you were in the UK right now too' this made me laugh so much!! Yes, my thoughts are with us this winter too. I am here temporarily so the cold won't last forever! But seriously, I am honestly grateful that you commented and offered the way that you did because I think many will benefit from your moving experience of hope. I'm going to pick out '3 wonders' on my next morning walk, and look out for bats (lol) and other little moments that speak to me. I think it's an amazing way to welcome presence and probably part of the reason why you're able to attract magnificent moments like the above into your life with such ease. I feel like it is a real life goal to have multiple butterflies feel at ease to commune in your presence. Grateful for your being here.
“ I am glad to be reminded that it’s normal to go to another side of the world and feel warmed by something recognisable. ” I love this. I have this feeling so often when I travel, particularly when I travel solo- I think it’s less about the place and more the act of being free and on my own. Either way- you’ve put words to it so well!
I totally relate to that sense of freedom and choosing my own path while solo travelling. Thanks so much for this!
Your writing is so poetic Amara! I love it. I would agree with your belief that hope doesn’t truly exist until you realise it is gone. Only then does it become something more palpable, and (perhaps) something you then start to feel and see it everyday. And that is really really beautiful, to be able to go from not having much of relationship with hope, to it disappearing, to it becoming so powerful and central to your life that it is everywhere! Finding the hope & joy in the really simple things to remind yourself that life is (and should be) simple is truly the best. It sparks such a different relationship with yourself it’s wonderful. It’s almost like an awakening?
Before I became unwell I can’t even really recall a genuine relationship with hope at all. And now we are best friends! I can’t imagine a day without her. I remember at a really low point this summer after being hospitalised again I was sat by a lavender hedge in my garden and I was thinking of how tired I was of being in and out of hospital and how much I wanted this new medication to work out, and a butterfly came and landed on my chest right where my heart was. I was so shocked and definitely teared up, and said to myself - this interaction with this butterfly is here to represent hope for me & my health. Because it’s landed on my heart, it wants me to stay hopeful. After it flew away, I had 4 more butterflies fly around me and land on me. Granted I was near a lavender hedge that definitely attracts them, but it felt very moving. And everytime I see a butterfly now, which was several times again in the summer, I knew it was hope coming to pay me a visit again, to remind me to keep going and that things would be okay. 🦋 I miss them in the bleak UK winter but I know they’ll be back.
Wow Martha this response is so touching. Thank you so much for reading and being here and offering your relationship with hope. I was most moved with your story about the encounter with the butterfly which made you feel the presence of hope. I can only imagine the feeling. Just reading your retelling of the event gave me an overwhelming sense of relief and an internal 'yes', that kind of emotion is unmatched and deserves to be spoken about more. I so appreciate your sharing. Honestly it made my night. I'm looking for ways to infuse even more hope into my days while also in the grey UK winter but I feel so connected back to the good, simple things that life keeps showing me and to the community around me.
Also, 4 butterflies landing on you is magical??!! I love that for you and the magnetism you have is probably beyond the lavender at this point. I hope for more meetings and reminders of hope that you can claim.
Thank you for such a resoundingly kind response to my comment! That kind of emotion is unmatched - it’s incredibly special. I also like to believe the magnetism I have is beyond the power of the lavender bush so I appreciate you reaffirming that haha. I hope for more meetings and reminders of hope that you can claim too 🫶
Omg my thoughts are with you I didn’t know you were in the UK right now too! It’s bleak out here. Infusing hope when it’s grey is a lot harder because nature is such an easy way to receive it. When I got out on walks I try and pick 3 ‘wonders’ which always makes me feel more connected to the world around me. I try and make sure they’re always different - so it can be seeing wild mushrooms, deer, I saw a bat (!) last week, the red on holly, the moon out in the day time, the colours of the sky etc. I also have a Christmas Tree in my house right now which definitely helps as it is so beautiful to look at.
'my thoughts are with you I didn’t know you were in the UK right now too' this made me laugh so much!! Yes, my thoughts are with us this winter too. I am here temporarily so the cold won't last forever! But seriously, I am honestly grateful that you commented and offered the way that you did because I think many will benefit from your moving experience of hope. I'm going to pick out '3 wonders' on my next morning walk, and look out for bats (lol) and other little moments that speak to me. I think it's an amazing way to welcome presence and probably part of the reason why you're able to attract magnificent moments like the above into your life with such ease. I feel like it is a real life goal to have multiple butterflies feel at ease to commune in your presence. Grateful for your being here.
Love this! Solo travel does this for me, but also morning walks in nature with coffee! Those moments always spark my creativity :)
Yes! Morning park walks with hot tea for me too>>> Thanks, so much, for reading and I'm glad you found a part of your everyday in this too