Now that you say this my mom often did say don’t let anyone touch your hair. I never understood why she said that and never understood why kids in school were always asking to touch my hair. I have never in my life wanted to touch someone’s hair. I didn’t understand then but this is definitely an eye opening reflection of the significance of the connection to our hair. One that I will definitely sit with. Beautifully written, thank you! Btw if you get a chance to share that rosemary shampoo recipe that sounds like something i’d love to try!
Appreciate you being here and sharing your insight too. Super grateful. The shampoo is hand-made by a friend here in Belize, I will message you the ingredients listed!
For some time, my older sister was considering locs. But has since decided to go short (though not as short as me) instead. Very interesting to read your journey. For all the hate we get, white people always seem to be fascinated with our hair. I was in an interracial marriage for 12 yrs and I remember the reaction from one of his co-workers and his wife when I would get braids. They always asked questions about the process, how long it lasted, etc. I remember her reaching out as if she was going to touch my hair and I leaned back. Having hair that long made me look younger. I definitely got more looks/compliments. I got divorced in 2018 and then 3 yrs later the pandemic happened. My sister and I ended up quarantining with my parents for a month when they contracted it; my Dad got it the worst and ended up in the hospital for 10 days. When beauty shops were allowed to open, I did the Big Chop due to hair-loss stress (and I was just sick of having a dry 'fro LOL). I don't have the same health issue that Jada Pinkett Smith does, but she inspired me to shave my head bald and like Yulani said, it was the best decision I ever made. It is truly freeing to have little to no hair on your head and not have to worry about how to care for it, using any product, etc. I get dressed in 5 mins. LOL Thank you again for sharing your journey. At some point, I'd love to check out that retreat in Costa Rica. I plan to move there. Eventually.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts here. I appreciate you for being here and taking time to share your hair journey! I feel you about those split seconds of having to react to someone trying to touch your hair. I am always so inspired by the confidence that a major hair transformation can have on confidence. Your story adds to my ideas about how we can reclaim power through connecting with our hair, or what radiates from our crown space. Also reclaiming time, because getting ready in 5 mins is a flex lool.
When you're ready, drop me a message about Costa Rica! I adored my time in Costa Rica, especially the Caribbean Coast, so I may be able to answer any questions you may have. I have so many friends who moved out there too. Take care <3
P.S.. I found your 'stack via your article "Are Women Who Choose To Live Alone Happier And Less Burdened?" on The Good Trade (I'm a newsletter subscriber). That inspired a post I'll be writing soon.
I've had locs since fourth grade (my mom didn't push back much because I have had a very old soul my whole life and when I wanted something, I always thought through the longevity of it) and I can tell you it has been the best decision I could've made for my hygiene and hair. I've felt so in my body and sensual, yet modest and reserved. I recently did a big chop a few months ago (that's why my locs are shoulder-length now). And it felt wonderful. I think I'll be keeping it that length.
I loved this essay so much Amara. Totally relate to a bunch of your experiences.
Wow that's so beautiful. Respect to your mum for allowing you to express yourself at such a young age. I love your points about the way your locs have provided space for you to show up fully in your versatility. I especially love that because some people say that locs are not versatile, I personally don't get it and this comment really speaks to that. Thanks for being here and offering!
Also, related but not related, I wholly recommend this Maori-owned brand called HINU. Their oil is the best. You can use it as an every day oil or hair wash treatment. I've only had it for a month and my hair has been looking better than ever.
Wonderful read per usual. When I started this I thought to myself, I bet she started her locs at her Saturn’s return lol perfect timing imo! They look great on you.
I’ve teetered on the idea of having them myself. My whole life I’ve had long hair, hot pressed or curly. This is the second big chop for me. The first was by choice. The second by force. I’m not a fan of the awkward stages of hair growth and it makes me v self conscious which aids in my hesitation with locs. Headwraps are the best!!! I love mine so much by Fanm Djanm. Maybe I’ll finally commit to starting when my Saturn’s return begins next year.
Anywho thanks for sharing your journey with us, I also enjoyed seeing your radiant face more!
Thank you for being here always ❤️ Ahahaha yes so on brand, I felt that pull as soon as mine began so it was to be. Wishing you so much love and clarity for when yours arrives. Saturn returns are so mystical, I'm so glad that more of us have awareness of what it is rather than tripping through those late 20s and feeling a way.
I can 100% see you with locs. I think it would suit you and what I've noticed of your lifestyle. I have been admiring your headwraps too! I will look into Fanm Djanm, thank you for pointing me in that direction. I know what you mean about the transitory phases.
I completely understand your hesitation with getting locs and the length. I cut this out because the letter was getting long, but I think there is a delicate line here with feeling comfortable and also redefining the norm with this new hairstyle that not many speak about in their natural hair journey. My big chop with natural loose hair and then growing out baby locs revealed a lot about the difference in being seen with shorter/transitioning hair.
A beautiful journey, beautiful writing and a very beautiful you in those pictures. I am in awe at the way you glow 🌟 hair absolutely does carry memories - hugely shocking and iconic move from your father all those years ago. He must have looked like an entirely different man!!!?!??!
Personal anecdote - my hair has changed so much since I got sick! Its changed colour (which I think it due to less sun exposure rather than me possessing magical powers) but it has also changed texture. I know of some women in my illness community who have lost their hair and while this can be because of medication I think it’s also the trauma.
Adding you to the beautiful list Martha <3 Always such beautiful exchanges and comments that linger. Thank you so much, and also I completely had to sit with that question. I hadn't asked myself that question about my dad looking like a different person. If anything, he looked the same but felt a little different. He has cycles of growing and restarting locs, he has since started them again so I feel like it's learning the cycle he is in by observing his loc journey.
Thank you for sharing your personal anecdote with us. Before you finished that sentence about the women in your illness community I thought it was the traumatic memory/experience causing hair loss. Also, although it has been born out of pain, do you like the new hair colour? Our bodies have such an interesting way of communicating things/changes. I still think you have magical powers though (you're a literal butterfly whisperer)❤️❤️
The comment that he didn’t look different but felt different is powerful! I hear that - what a lovely front row seat you have to his relationship with ending and beginning new cycles with his hair.
I think I do like my new hair colour - it’s just so much darker than I used to be. But I like it. It feels like a rebirth which feels fitting because I’ve had a rebirth and a HALF in the last few years so it feels only right I also look a bit different too? Our bodies do have such interesting ways of communicating things, I’ve become so much more aware of its communication in the last few years. It’s unsettling and fascinating all at the same time. Okay I’ll admit I might have magical powers with the butterflies ❤️❤️ I just saw one earlier! They’re coming out to agree with you haha
what a tender way to honor your crown--by writing so lovingly about your journey with it <33
i have memories of my late grandmother braiding my hair into two pristine braids when i was a young girl. i used to watch her braid her own hair, she could do it with her eyes closed and i recall asking her "how?". her fingers floated through her shoulder-lenth gray hair with such ease. i was mesmerized. i spent evenings with her watching movies, delicately braiding and unbraiding and rebraiding her hair. at home, i practiced on my little sister, easing up when she cried "ow sissy!" and glowing with pride when i successfully wove her thick strands together. braiding was the language of my love.
now, on evenings after i've washed and moisturized my waves, i sit much like my grandmother did. eyes closed, fingers moving with assuredness. sometimes, as i braid, i imagine braiding my childhood self's golden hair. it is a pure act of self love that i deeply treasure <3
I'm someone who notoriously labels myself as lazy and low-maintenance when it comes to my hair. I think I have a mix of 2B(or 2A I forget) and 3B curly hair and have never put in the time to really figure out what specific products really work for my hair or really take the time to get to know my hair especially at its most recent stage. I'm Dominican and grew up around Dominican salons, getting my hair blowdried a lot especially in high school so for the longest time I didn't even know I had as curly hair as I do lol. This year, I'm hoping to grow out my hair really long again and putting a lot of care into the curls and making them flourish instead of neglecting them. I guess this year I feel so confident that I finally have the patience to grow it long again instead of continuously cutting it is because I've come out of such a transition heavy 2023, that I'm getting more and more settled into who I'm becoming <3 Ugh your posts are such a treat Amara.
I hear this so often!! Being in a routine of maintaining straight hair for years and then finding yourself in a process of reacquainting with natural hair texture only in adulthood. I think it's beautiful that you know yourself and are continuing to acknowledge and nurture your strands. Sending you all the best on this new healthy hair journey! I hope this side of the transition is abundant in all ways. Thank you so much for being here Nathalie, your comments and engagements are always so refreshing and life-giving <3
Now that you say this my mom often did say don’t let anyone touch your hair. I never understood why she said that and never understood why kids in school were always asking to touch my hair. I have never in my life wanted to touch someone’s hair. I didn’t understand then but this is definitely an eye opening reflection of the significance of the connection to our hair. One that I will definitely sit with. Beautifully written, thank you! Btw if you get a chance to share that rosemary shampoo recipe that sounds like something i’d love to try!
Appreciate you being here and sharing your insight too. Super grateful. The shampoo is hand-made by a friend here in Belize, I will message you the ingredients listed!
For some time, my older sister was considering locs. But has since decided to go short (though not as short as me) instead. Very interesting to read your journey. For all the hate we get, white people always seem to be fascinated with our hair. I was in an interracial marriage for 12 yrs and I remember the reaction from one of his co-workers and his wife when I would get braids. They always asked questions about the process, how long it lasted, etc. I remember her reaching out as if she was going to touch my hair and I leaned back. Having hair that long made me look younger. I definitely got more looks/compliments. I got divorced in 2018 and then 3 yrs later the pandemic happened. My sister and I ended up quarantining with my parents for a month when they contracted it; my Dad got it the worst and ended up in the hospital for 10 days. When beauty shops were allowed to open, I did the Big Chop due to hair-loss stress (and I was just sick of having a dry 'fro LOL). I don't have the same health issue that Jada Pinkett Smith does, but she inspired me to shave my head bald and like Yulani said, it was the best decision I ever made. It is truly freeing to have little to no hair on your head and not have to worry about how to care for it, using any product, etc. I get dressed in 5 mins. LOL Thank you again for sharing your journey. At some point, I'd love to check out that retreat in Costa Rica. I plan to move there. Eventually.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts here. I appreciate you for being here and taking time to share your hair journey! I feel you about those split seconds of having to react to someone trying to touch your hair. I am always so inspired by the confidence that a major hair transformation can have on confidence. Your story adds to my ideas about how we can reclaim power through connecting with our hair, or what radiates from our crown space. Also reclaiming time, because getting ready in 5 mins is a flex lool.
When you're ready, drop me a message about Costa Rica! I adored my time in Costa Rica, especially the Caribbean Coast, so I may be able to answer any questions you may have. I have so many friends who moved out there too. Take care <3
P.S.. I found your 'stack via your article "Are Women Who Choose To Live Alone Happier And Less Burdened?" on The Good Trade (I'm a newsletter subscriber). That inspired a post I'll be writing soon.
I've had locs since fourth grade (my mom didn't push back much because I have had a very old soul my whole life and when I wanted something, I always thought through the longevity of it) and I can tell you it has been the best decision I could've made for my hygiene and hair. I've felt so in my body and sensual, yet modest and reserved. I recently did a big chop a few months ago (that's why my locs are shoulder-length now). And it felt wonderful. I think I'll be keeping it that length.
I loved this essay so much Amara. Totally relate to a bunch of your experiences.
Wow that's so beautiful. Respect to your mum for allowing you to express yourself at such a young age. I love your points about the way your locs have provided space for you to show up fully in your versatility. I especially love that because some people say that locs are not versatile, I personally don't get it and this comment really speaks to that. Thanks for being here and offering!
Also, related but not related, I wholly recommend this Maori-owned brand called HINU. Their oil is the best. You can use it as an every day oil or hair wash treatment. I've only had it for a month and my hair has been looking better than ever.
so sweet! I had a quick look and I think I've seen this brand recommended too, thanks for your trusted rec. The Instagram also looks divine.
Wonderful read per usual. When I started this I thought to myself, I bet she started her locs at her Saturn’s return lol perfect timing imo! They look great on you.
I’ve teetered on the idea of having them myself. My whole life I’ve had long hair, hot pressed or curly. This is the second big chop for me. The first was by choice. The second by force. I’m not a fan of the awkward stages of hair growth and it makes me v self conscious which aids in my hesitation with locs. Headwraps are the best!!! I love mine so much by Fanm Djanm. Maybe I’ll finally commit to starting when my Saturn’s return begins next year.
Anywho thanks for sharing your journey with us, I also enjoyed seeing your radiant face more!
Thank you for being here always ❤️ Ahahaha yes so on brand, I felt that pull as soon as mine began so it was to be. Wishing you so much love and clarity for when yours arrives. Saturn returns are so mystical, I'm so glad that more of us have awareness of what it is rather than tripping through those late 20s and feeling a way.
I can 100% see you with locs. I think it would suit you and what I've noticed of your lifestyle. I have been admiring your headwraps too! I will look into Fanm Djanm, thank you for pointing me in that direction. I know what you mean about the transitory phases.
I completely understand your hesitation with getting locs and the length. I cut this out because the letter was getting long, but I think there is a delicate line here with feeling comfortable and also redefining the norm with this new hairstyle that not many speak about in their natural hair journey. My big chop with natural loose hair and then growing out baby locs revealed a lot about the difference in being seen with shorter/transitioning hair.
A beautiful journey, beautiful writing and a very beautiful you in those pictures. I am in awe at the way you glow 🌟 hair absolutely does carry memories - hugely shocking and iconic move from your father all those years ago. He must have looked like an entirely different man!!!?!??!
Personal anecdote - my hair has changed so much since I got sick! Its changed colour (which I think it due to less sun exposure rather than me possessing magical powers) but it has also changed texture. I know of some women in my illness community who have lost their hair and while this can be because of medication I think it’s also the trauma.
Adding you to the beautiful list Martha <3 Always such beautiful exchanges and comments that linger. Thank you so much, and also I completely had to sit with that question. I hadn't asked myself that question about my dad looking like a different person. If anything, he looked the same but felt a little different. He has cycles of growing and restarting locs, he has since started them again so I feel like it's learning the cycle he is in by observing his loc journey.
Thank you for sharing your personal anecdote with us. Before you finished that sentence about the women in your illness community I thought it was the traumatic memory/experience causing hair loss. Also, although it has been born out of pain, do you like the new hair colour? Our bodies have such an interesting way of communicating things/changes. I still think you have magical powers though (you're a literal butterfly whisperer)❤️❤️
The comment that he didn’t look different but felt different is powerful! I hear that - what a lovely front row seat you have to his relationship with ending and beginning new cycles with his hair.
I think I do like my new hair colour - it’s just so much darker than I used to be. But I like it. It feels like a rebirth which feels fitting because I’ve had a rebirth and a HALF in the last few years so it feels only right I also look a bit different too? Our bodies do have such interesting ways of communicating things, I’ve become so much more aware of its communication in the last few years. It’s unsettling and fascinating all at the same time. Okay I’ll admit I might have magical powers with the butterflies ❤️❤️ I just saw one earlier! They’re coming out to agree with you haha
I'm loving the convo happening here! So beautiful to also see men embracing change in a public (and heavily internal) way <3
what a tender way to honor your crown--by writing so lovingly about your journey with it <33
i have memories of my late grandmother braiding my hair into two pristine braids when i was a young girl. i used to watch her braid her own hair, she could do it with her eyes closed and i recall asking her "how?". her fingers floated through her shoulder-lenth gray hair with such ease. i was mesmerized. i spent evenings with her watching movies, delicately braiding and unbraiding and rebraiding her hair. at home, i practiced on my little sister, easing up when she cried "ow sissy!" and glowing with pride when i successfully wove her thick strands together. braiding was the language of my love.
now, on evenings after i've washed and moisturized my waves, i sit much like my grandmother did. eyes closed, fingers moving with assuredness. sometimes, as i braid, i imagine braiding my childhood self's golden hair. it is a pure act of self love that i deeply treasure <3
I'm someone who notoriously labels myself as lazy and low-maintenance when it comes to my hair. I think I have a mix of 2B(or 2A I forget) and 3B curly hair and have never put in the time to really figure out what specific products really work for my hair or really take the time to get to know my hair especially at its most recent stage. I'm Dominican and grew up around Dominican salons, getting my hair blowdried a lot especially in high school so for the longest time I didn't even know I had as curly hair as I do lol. This year, I'm hoping to grow out my hair really long again and putting a lot of care into the curls and making them flourish instead of neglecting them. I guess this year I feel so confident that I finally have the patience to grow it long again instead of continuously cutting it is because I've come out of such a transition heavy 2023, that I'm getting more and more settled into who I'm becoming <3 Ugh your posts are such a treat Amara.
I hear this so often!! Being in a routine of maintaining straight hair for years and then finding yourself in a process of reacquainting with natural hair texture only in adulthood. I think it's beautiful that you know yourself and are continuing to acknowledge and nurture your strands. Sending you all the best on this new healthy hair journey! I hope this side of the transition is abundant in all ways. Thank you so much for being here Nathalie, your comments and engagements are always so refreshing and life-giving <3